And so it goes

This weekend my rock star of a horn player husband flew to SLC for the Associate Principal Horn audition. There were 37 auditionees (would have been more but lots of flights were canceled). On Saturday he played well and was advanced to the semi-finals scheduled for Sunday morning. After finding out, he celebrated the best way we know how in Utah: CAFE RIO! Then he and his friend Jonas who he shared a hotel with got a tour of Temple Square. And who did they see there? My former roommate who is now on her mission to Salt Lake City (not temple square)! I'm so insanely jealous he got to see her and talk to her. I miss her so much! Anyway. Then for dinner a bunch of horn player buddies ate at an amazing authentic Napoli style pizzeria named Settebello. Brian went on and on about how good it was. After the meal Jonas said, "I am filled with awesome."

Then today, Brian played well again and made it to the finals. He makes it sound so easy doesn't he? Well it's not. Brian played 11 auditions before he ever advanced to the semi finals. The top 3 played. Then they bumped one out and he was in the top 2. They each got to play with the Utah Symphony horn section. But "the margin was very close" and Brian was named Runner Up. Too bad! We really wanted this. The winner told Brian not to count himself out because he apparently has a good thing going-playing and teaching wise in Florida so he "has a lot to think about". So if he doesn't take the job, it will be offered to Brian.

Sigh. Have you ever felt like you've been shown the plan and then it doesn't seem to pan out? Are you left feeling misled or just questioning your own ability to understand those whisperings? Who knows why it's turned out this way. We felt so good about it... God's hand was definitely in it to even get Brian out of work obligations here and to the audition. I mean maybe the other guy will turn it down and we'll move there. Looking forward to that 20/20 hindsight.

I can't write this without saying how grateful I am that Brian does have a job, a great job here in KC. We like it, we're happy, and we can even pay our bills. We are so blessed. A year ago, we were just the same as all our peers, who also show up at these auditions and walk away with nothing but the experience of it. It's crazy, all these people I heard play in college and thought, 'Wow they are amazing. They have such a gift. Surely they'll have a job in no time.' Like the 3rd finalist for instance, I've never met him but apparently he is also a convert to the church and he has 3 kids and no job! The reality is, getting a job in a symphony is next to impossible....except for my freakishly good husband... =)

I knew when I married him I was in essence, giving up my chance at a horn career. I understood that I was not nearly as good as him (so he would win a job first), that there are like never two horn openings in the same symphony, and there was only money to send him on auditions (heck there wasn't even money for that!). And I loved him and had faith in the plan. So I've made my sacrifices. I still sacrifice. Every time I change a diaper, do the dishes, cook a meal, it's time that he's practicing and I'm not. So his successes, even near successes, are victories for me as well. If my husband is almost winning everything at age 24, I'm really looking forward to 25, 26, 30. And so it goes. It's a mysterious and wonderful life we musicians have... Onward to the next auditions: North Carolina and then St. Louis.